My Blog

Valentines just come and go, leaving a lot of people falling in love in its wake. Everywhere I go, everywhere I look, all I see are people so madly in love with each other, hugging like there’s no tomorrow.
What am i missing here? Seems to me that love would not be coming in mah way soon. Valentines day & february are juz words I simply ignore because of the fact that I would be getting jealous(is it?)of all the sweet couples holding hands, kissing for yet another world record and so on.
Sure, I have my parents to thank & spend valentines day with, but hey, lets not be plastics; you know what I mean. No one to spend quality time with, coz I have a pad of my own now and lives alone.
That’s right, the feeling of emptiness that bugs & bites me at times whenever I come home straight from yet another tiring, exhausting, & draining work.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not really complaining about it.Its perfectly ok with me now. After all, its been what, 2 years since I started living alone.
Then, whats my point? The only thing I am so sad about is that I’ve loved, got badly hurt, stood up again, fell in love again, fell EVEN HARDER…but I never,ever learned! Why do I keep falling for the wrong person? Am I not entitled to my own happiness? Hmmmm…self-pity, anyone? Of course not…juz wonderin why fate allows me to meet somebody, be close to that somebody and in the end, only to find out, we could never, ever be what we wanted to be.
The most frustrating story to top it all, is that the only girl I love all this time since mah breakup with sombody else, NEVER KNEW that I loved her since the day we met. I don’t want to risk telling this to her &falling again, for I know it would and will probably cause me the friendship we’ve shared. We’ve been friends for about 2 years now. She had a BF then, but things didn’t work well, so it ended soon. News of her having a new BF broke me even further, but that’s the price I have to pay for not having the courage to tell her how much I feel. I’ve seemed to lose the ability to take risk, for I’m protecting my heart so dear, now in its most fragile state.Any more hurting, and I dont know what will happen.
I dont know how much I can live with these kind of arrangement. Everytime we see each other, I act as if were only friends. Her sweet smile breaks my heart even more, for I know I could never have her. Her stories about her BF not treating her right makes me wanna shout and say, “AKO, di ko gagawin sau yan..Mahal kita!!”, but I keep my mouth shut and patiently listens and gives advises, for I know that would make her comfortable and happy, the very thing I want her to be. And I will do this for as long as I can, for as long as I have the sense to protect her from pain and humiliation and the sense to keep in my mind, I am a mentor.
And what does this makes me? Being someone as important and respectful does not mean you can have what you want. The responsibility of being a mentor even takes its toll on my life, my personal love life. Since, there is nothing I can do yet as of now, to that person I love so much…I LOVE YOU and I will love you still, silently, patiently & quietly as long as I can…till I can finally be over you.

Time flies so fast…Before you knew it, 2006 will be leaving to usher the coming of 2007.
This year is marked with so much events both note worthy and not, remembering & forgetting, of hardships and success stories.
Before the year slips out, I would like to thank all those people who in one way another became significant in the molding of who I am today.
My parents and brothers-for always giving their UNCONDITIONAL, UNWAVERING LOVE to me. They are a vital source of strength, inspiration and love to me. Love you dad, love you mom!Love you kuya mel & kuya jo! Noel, laro na tau ng diaBLO 2!
My best friends Mary joy Dominguez & Leah Andutan - I dunno what I would do without you guys! You saw me through the darkest hardships yet I ever faced,and you remained loyal and loving as we have always been. To Mj, congratulations…me & leah are very happy for you!
To my students friends - Im sorry I cannot mention all of you guys & gals, but you know who you are…one way or another you made my stay in EAC unforgettable amidst forgettable circumstances. You made me realizer that there are those people who can be loyal and good in spite of the "stench" the school has inside & out!
Ms. Rowena Raquiño - my ever buddy in my masters…constant companion, spiritual adviser, Sbarro & Go nuts donuts buddy! I really appreciated you patients with especially when I go talking non-sense, for extending a helping hand when in need and for just being "weng"! Congratulations to you & ramil in advance!
Irene, Mamang, Sharona, Yza - thank you for being there when I needed you most. Thank you for understanding me and seeing the good part of me! All my ta=hanks goes to you also, esp. mamang!
Dra. Romillie Cruz - thank you for the inspiration…i could not say more.
Dra. Xenia David - for the friendship and smiles that warmed me during the ASEAN convention…thank you…pls keep in touch!
Dra. Evelyn G. Tejada - the BEST BOSS i ever had! for the encouragements, the faith in my abilites and for the motherly guidance i never knew existed. You made me what I am today as a faculty
Dyna & Wena - my buddies in EAC…thank you for the times we shared together and for all the memories we had whenever we go out in groups..thank you for being patient with my HR concerns…(yung ranking kooohhh!!)
To all those whom I fail to mention - though i may forgetten to include your names here, believe me, I am keeping you in my heart as part of the treasures I have. All my sincerest gratitude go with you!
To all of you reading my blog, thank you also for reading this simple post. I hope that you got to know me a bit with this and if you are one of the abovementioned people…well….SALAMAT PO! MALIGAYANG PASKO AT MANIGOING BAGONG TAON SA ATING LAHAT!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO ALL!!